Here’s one of my attempts at comedy.  Try not to cringe too much. 

Man, having a Christian girlfriend is like having a full-time job! Why, you ask? Well, for starters, I had to attend an interview before I received the position of Elaine’s boyfriend! Don’t laugh! I’m serious! 

When I first met Elaine, I was bewitched. So  . . . I asked her out. 

She smiled and said “Sorry. I can’t.” 

“I’ll take you to Questo.” 

She shook her head.

 “The drive-in theatre?” 

 “No.”

“Name the place, and I’ll take you there.” I offered.

She sighed. “I”m sorry. I can’t go out with you.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Why not?” 

“You’d have to meet my parents first. And let me tell you, they’re quite intimidating.” 

I laughed. “Is that it? Fine. I’ll meet your parents. They can’t be more intimidating than Donald Trump’s bodyguard.”

Man, I sure was wrong. 

I was greeted with a shotgun pointed at my forehead. “State your name and order of business.” A man growled. I ducked. “Hey!” I yelled. “What’s with the gun?” “State your name and order of business.” The man repeated. “Umm . . I’m Cadence Stewart. I came to meet Elaine’s parents. Is this the right house?”  The man nodded. “Welcome Cadence.” He grinned. 

“Umm . . . Sir, would you please lower your shotgun. I’d be a lot more comfortable if I didn’t have to worry about you blowing out my brains.”  “Ahh. Come on in.” The man chuckled. 

As soon as I stepped over the threshold, I was met with a tidal wave of children. Big, little, thin, plump . . . You name it. They swarmed around me, jabbering noisily

So, this isn’t done yet. Tell me if you want to hear more.